Energy Alignment: Stop Settling for Titles, Start Becoming You

We’re quick to ask, “What’s next?”
What role, what company, what title should I go after?

But here’s what I think we should be asking instead:

How do I want to develop into the person, professional, leader, and teammate I’m meant to be?

Not just skill-up, but self-up.
Not just make a move, but make meaning.

To show you what I mean, I’m going to share something only a few close friends know about—a story that, surprisingly, taught me everything I now teach women, men, sales pros, and leaders about alignment, magnetism, and career success.

But first, some context.

Didn’t See That Coming

It was New Year’s Day 2021. I had just exited a situationship (I know, I know), and I didn’t want to “rebound.” I wanted growth. As a woman. A partner. A human.

And somewhere along that journey, a desire I’d never had before emerged:

I wanted marriage. And not just to have a partner—I wanted to become the kind of wife I’d never studied for, never even imagined being. I would write this in my journal: “I desire not just to have but to be an outstanding partner and lover…”

So I got to work. With a background in sociology, I wasn’t new to studying human dynamics, but this time, it wasn’t academic. It was personal. I attended conferences, took a few courses, dove into books, podcasts, and sermons—some hosted by couples who challenged everything I thought I knew… and called me to a new standard. I even hired a coach, not for wifey training per se, but, hey, self-improvement is self-improvement, am I right?!

But ironically, the first course I took wasn’t about relationships at all.

It was about masculine and feminine energy, and not gonna lie, it blew my mind.

All Go, No Flow

In that course, I saw myself with fresh eyes. I learned how we all embody a range of energetic modes—directive vs. receptive, go vs. flow—and how they serve us in different contexts.

I realized I had gone too far in one direction.

That misalignment was showing up everywhere—in how I was working, dating, relating, and performing.

And suddenly, everything made sense.

Stepping Into His Shoes (And Then Some)

Rewind to 2016/2017.

About a year before my dad passed—my top 2 favorite human and the man I most admired—he began preparing me to be the executor of his estate. We went over everything: accounts, documents, final wishes. And when the time came in late 2017, I stepped into those shoes.

Only they weren’t daughter shoes anymore.
They were provider shoes. Protector shoes. Daddy shoes.

Grieving wasn’t a luxury I had. I had (his) responsibilities now.

About a year after that, I was promoted to senior manager at work. Between being “man-of-the-house” for my mom outside work and leading a team inside work, I was running on overdrive.

And while I still looked feminine (Leo energy—let’s be real), energetically? I was all masculine. All drive. All doing. All day.

The Clues Were Loud (and Lowkey Wild)

It started showing up in strange ways. 

When I went out dancing with friends, straight women—unsolicited—would flirt with me, dance on me, even kiss my forehead and cheeks. It happened so consistently that I started warning my friends: “Ok, be cool, it’s fine, but at some point tonight, there’s going to be a woman who will try and get all up on me. I don’t know why, but it happens all the time now, so… yeah…”

This wasn’t me trying to be cute. I wasn’t flirting or trying to attract anyone. I was there to dance with my friends and them only. But something in my energy was being picked up—and interpreted—differently.

And the men I was attracting? That’s a whole other story. 

For most of my life, I dated sound, admirable, make-your-mama-proud men. The kind everyone liked and respected.

But once my dad’s health started declining—and after he passed—I’ll admit I started making some questionable decisions. (Remember that situationship?) It was as if my subconscious felt his covering slip away, and now defenseless, made way for some bullsh—
I mean… some bananas. Like, real circus-level choices.

The ‘post-prime daddy’ men were often sweet… but energetically off. Passive-aggressive. Emotionally needy or immature. Avoidant. Operating from wounded masculine energy that expected me to lead, plan, fix, carry, and then blame me when things fell apart.

I became a full-time emotional first responder. And I was tired.

One man had the audacity to suggest living with me rent-free.

That was the moment I heard my dad’s voice, calm but gut-checkingly clear:
“Let me get this straight. A man. Who isn’t your husband. Wants to live in your house and not pay rent? A grown man wants to benefit from your success without contributing to it or doing the work?” [Long pause. Eyebrow raised.] “Now, you know I didn’t raise you for that.”

It’s me, hi, I’m the problem, it’s me –”Anti-Hero”

Taylor, I get it.

These patterns were too consistent to ignore.

I wasn’t being punished. I wasn’t “unlucky in love.”

I was misaligned.
I was showing up in one mode—go mode—no matter the context.

And as a result, I was attracting people and situations that required me to stay in that mode… even when it was draining me.

Crushing It At Work? Yes. But…

Here’s the funny thing: While all of this was going on, I was crushing it at work.

I was a boss. In charge. On top of things.
That same masculine energy was serving me perfectly in the workplace.

But this contrast taught me something critical—one of the foundational truths I now teach:

The way we show up HAS to evolve because the energy that helps us succeed in one area of life can quietly sabotage us in another.

Misalignment doesn’t just create burnout. It attracts misaligned partners. Misaligned opportunities. Misaligned teams. And it keeps us stuck, swimming upstream.

When we don’t understand our energetic defaults—how we show up, lead, relate—we lose access to our full range. Our full power.

Shift Hit The Fan

Once I saw it, I couldn’t unsee it.

And the healing didn’t happen overnight. It took time, feedback, accountability, and a lot of awkward first tries. But little by little, I came back to myself—only more aware. More grounded. More magnetic. More… me. 

Suddenly, the energy around me changed. The opportunities that came in were more aligned. The men I met had softness and backbone. The colleagues I collaborated with felt more like co-creators, not burdens.

This is the kind of shift I now help other professionals make. Not just in life, but in sales. Leadership. Growth.

The Real Work. The Lasting Kind.

I’m not sharing this to be dramatic or to rack up vulnerability points.

I’m sharing it because it’s part of the very reason I created The Femme Sales Edge™.

Not because I have it all figured out, but because I figured out something and took a step that changed everything for me. And I know it can change everything for other women, too.

This isn’t about conforming to outdated gender roles. It’s about understanding the full spectrum of who you are—how you operate, when to switch gears, and how to use that awareness to your advantage.

So you can stop hustling.
And simply start working smarter.

And So It Begins

If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing everything “right” but still not getting the results (or respect) you deserve…

If you’ve been stuck in “what’s next” mode and are ready to operate from clarity.

If you want to sell, lead, and rise in a way that actually feels like you,

Then you’re exactly where you need to be.

I’m not promising you’ll land your dream role in 90 days. I’m promising that if you’re willing to look inward, to question what’s no longer working in and around you, to recalibrate the parts of yourself that are overused or under-nourished—

You’ll walk away with a version of you that you actually like being again.

That’s what changes careers.
That’s what changes lives.

My inaugural cohort of The Femme Sales Edge™ starts soon. It’s not for everyone. But if something in you just whispered “yes” while reading this…

Then stop asking what your next move is.
Start asking who you’re becoming.

That shift—from overextended to aligned, from reactive to rooted—is exactly the transformation we explore inside The Femme Sales Edge™.

If you’re curious about what this looks like in practice, you can read more and join the waitlist here. 

And don’t worry, fellas—I’ve got you covered too. My ALIGN framework is nothing to sleep on. Check it out here, and if it resonates, you know where to find me.

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A note from Erin: Thank you for being here! If these ideas or perspectives resonate with you, I’d love for you to subscribe or share them with someone you care about. If you want to make a change or when the time feels right, I’m here to help. Check out my NEW WEBSITE to explore how we can work together—or swing by my “CONTACT” page to say hello, ask a question, or start a conversation.