When Your Squad Ghosts: Lessons On Starting a Business And Friendship

When I bought my house, my friends were there.

When my parents passed, my friends were there.

When I landed my dream job, got engaged (and later called it off), my friends were there.

When I started my own business…

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.

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Oh, I’m sorry, did you feel a little left hanging? Yeah, same here….

I created a blog, launched my business, and shortly after released my first signature group offering, all with a theme of redefining what it means to ‘go to work’ and helping people reimagine their professional selves through character, curiosity, and common courtesy—with loads of edge.

And what did I get in return?

Crickets.

Starting a business doesn’t just test your entrepreneurial skills—it exposes which friendships can grow with you…and which ones may struggle to. Here’s what starting a business taught me about friendship.  

The Ghosting (AKA the Disappearing Act)

Let me paint you a picture. I’d spent months developing The Femme Sales Edge™ based on real women, real workplace challenges, real analytics. I reached out to my network—not asking for money or “just cause we’re friends” sign-ups—just to share something I was genuinely excited about and hoped they might know someone who could benefit… or at least want to see what all the buzz was about.

Here’s what happened: while several people were responsive and supportive, just as many straight-up ghosted me. I mean, mid-conversation disappearing acts. One minute we’re texting like normal friends—”Hey girlie, check this out, thought you might know someone who’d love this”—the next, radio silence.

One friend stung in particular. Someone whose own workplace incident had indirectly inspired my target market. After a text with some ‘what’s new with you’ chatter, I mentioned The Femme Sales Edge™. Her response? Four short lines. Sandwiched between “So glad you found your calling” and “Good luck with your next chapter,” was essentially a big fat ‘Nope.’

Ouch. It’s the reason I started this article and why it took so long to publish. Like a Drake song, I was all up in my feels. I expected something warmer, more celebratory; the kind of response friends give when you share your “newborn pics,” you know?

I drafted about ten reactions (not responses, if I’m honest) before finally landing on grace (barely). Because while I had an expectation of her as my friend, what did she actually owe me? Nothing. And I guess that’s friendship, right? Extending grace when they unintentionally hurt our feelings. (And maybe quietly removing them from the birthday party invite list).

The Enthusiasm Gap (All That Hype … Just Not for Me)

I have a close friend, we’ll call her Brooke, who’s also considering starting her own business. Brooke has a product that absolutely slaps—like 90% of people who try it become instant customers. One afternoon, I was hosting a gathering of my closest friends, and she offered to share her product as a gift to me. As expected, Brooke was a hit. 

What I didn’t expect? Watching a different friend, let’s call them Cris, morph into Brooke’s impromptu business partner.

Don’t get me wrong—this was beautiful to witness, and Brooke definitely deserved the enthusiasm. But I’d be lying if I said Cris’s out-of-nowhere eagerness didn’t make me feel some type of way. Cris had seen me building my business for months. How did I miss the memo on how to make my dream a group project, too? Like, what’s a girl gotta do to get some of that same ‘here, let me help you’ love?

All my friends are genuinely great people who love and are uber proud of me—I don’t question that. But when you’re a new founder scrapping for every ounce of support you can get, it’s just tough to watch your inner circle give it away so freely to someone they just met.

So was it me… or…? Yes, my service is niche—way less universal than a tangible product like Brooke’s—so maybe it’s just harder to get excited about. And yeah, I was genuinely hurt watching Cris jump so hard on Brooke’s bandwagon, but again, what did Cris actually owe me? Nothing… (Right?)

The Line Stepper

Anyone who’s ever been laser-focused on a big goal knows this struggle: sometimes you have to put up boundaries to protect your energy and your vision. It’s never personal; you just didn’t come this far to get derailed now.

Someone I know and love became a frequent line stepper during this time. She’d nod and smile when I’d lovingly explain my limits, then try to rephrase her agenda as if my boundaries were up for negotiation.

To her credit, I don’t blame her for trying. She was dealing with her own challenges and had gotten used to me saying yes to this one specific thing for years. 

But this time, I had to choose me. And truthfully, that first “no” was just as hard for me to say as it was for her to hear.

And then it got worse. Someone close to her sent me a lengthy text, riddled with half-truths and assumptions. I know they meant well, but it was totally giving guilt-trip vibes. They didn’t have the full story, yet felt entitled to weigh in, as if my nerves weren’t already under enough stress. 

So here I am, building a business, pouring all my resources into work I know can change systems, setting healthy boundaries, and somehow I’m the bad guy because I finally said no? Or, really, “not right now”?

I was done. But thank God for God (and my therapist). And for people who can own their missteps and say, ‘My bad. I had no idea I made you feel that way. I’m so sorry. How can I do better?‘ Because thankfully, that’s exactly how this story ended. (Thanks, boo ;))

The One Who Sees Me

But even when one relationship gets repaired, the ripple effects of hurt don’t vanish overnight. Which is why the next friend’s response meant everything.

After venting about these surprising friendship plot twists, this particular friend didn’t trash-talk the others. She didn’t tell me to “suck it up” or throw some toxic positivity my way. Instead, she simply reminded me who I am.

“You’re a really good person. No, I mean you are good, really. And you practice what you preach.”

She praised my character. She acknowledged my consistency, my integrity, my sacrifices, even my discouragement. She just paused to see me.

Then she told me to feel my feelings. Scream into a pillow if I needed to. Take a luxurious bath. Honor myself after this go-go-go treadmill I’d been on and these just as draining let-downs.

For weeks, I’d felt unseen. Overlooked. Rejected. Three feelings I never imagined would come from the people I call friends. But this friend gave me exactly what I needed: perspective, permission to rest, and most importantly, acknowledgment.

Thankfully, another close friend followed a similar suit. She called me out of the blue one day just to ask how she could support my business. (Sweet, huh?!)

Real Talk

Entrepreneurship reveals people in ways other life milestones don’t.  Weddings, babies, graduations—these are the kinds of moments everyone knows how to rally around. Starting a business? Totally different game.

It’s an unconventional choice. It can challenge social norms or even trigger insecurities people didn’t know they had. So I’m starting to get why even the most well-meaning friends can struggle here. It’s not because they don’t care, but because it asks for a different kind of support they may not know how to give.

Dayum, Gina, Why You Coming For Us?

I’m not. I didn’t write this to put anyone on blast. 

We know you love us. We know you want us to win. We know you would gladly offer a hand or an ear at the drop of a hat. I just felt it necessary to share my experience (and likely the experience of many) in hopes we all become a little more mindful and curious about this wild journey your person has chosen.

If you have a friend walking this unpredictable road, ask them about their mission, why they chose this route, what their vision entails, and what their day-to-day actually feels like. At least you’ll be in for a different conversation.

Instead of the typical ‘my boss did this’ or ‘this quarter is killing me,’ you might hear things like:

• ‘We’re challenging outdated norms and building bold, sustainable systems for today’s workforce,’
• ‘We’re revolutionizing ways for seasoned professionals to remain seen and invested in,’
• ‘We’re developing frameworks to help women embrace both ambition and values in sales,’
• ‘We’re testing new technologies to deliver programs with the greatest impact.’

Sure, you can talk shop. But why not talk philosophy, heart, strategy, execution? Wouldn’t it be neat to learn about something new from a friend who’s at the helm of creating it? I mean, how often do you get to witness the very beginning stages of what could become the next big thing?

Entrepreneurship is exhilarating, isolating, and very expensive. And while many of us need capital, we could also use other forms of support. Lean in. Check in. Ask questions. Get curious about what we’re building.

And for the love of God—respond and pass it on. 

(Please and thank you 🙂)

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A note from Erin: Thank you for being here! If these ideas or perspectives resonate with you, I’d love for you to subscribe or share them with someone you care about. If you want to make a change or when the time feels right, I’m here to help. Check out my NEW WEBSITE to explore how we can work together—or swing by my “CONTACT” page to say hello, ask a question, or start a conversation.