To Clap Back? Or Not To Clap Back? A Victory Story.

Oooweee, we’re about to ruffle some feathers today. I’m realizing that the more adversity I face, the bolder I become. Which, world betta watch out; I’m already as bold as they come. Let’s go.

I was already riding a good day into a good night — brunch with people I love, my friend even telling me I ‘seemed like my old self and my new self at once’ — and settling in with an old show I don’t often let myself enjoy, one I’d been treating myself to all weekend. When I made the mistake of checking LinkedIn.

Big mistake. Huge.

Took me an hour to get through a 40-minute episode after that. Rewound it four times. Couldn’t focus. Because someone I called a friend had copied my work and posted it. My original, from-scratch, prayed-over idea. And didn’t say a word to me about it — even though we’d just connected days before.

This summer, two women crossed a line with me. Different situations, same theme: somewhere along the way, they decided my work was theirs to take, or theirs to grade.

I had to decide: do I clap back, or lean into my WWJD? The answer may not surprise you. Getting there did take some wrestling, though. But hey, it’s a victory story all the same. 

Blow one: the take.

As I mentioned, a friend copied my work. Not just related to it — copied it. My idea, my format, the one that took me weeks to organize and record, with my name never once mentioned as the inspiration. It stings even more because this is someone I’ve championed, prayed for, and cheered on for years, because the truth is, I admired her. Thought she was killing it professionally, socially, geographically, all of it. Told her so, more than once.  We’re close in age, but she’s got more years in the entrepreneur game, not to mention a much bigger network. 

And you know what all of that should’ve bought her? Her own idea.

It takes guts to build something from nothing. To take a concept you dreamed about and turn it into something people will actually entertain. In a world where AI can write your emails, your resume, and basically think for you, creating something is rare. I’m not hating on AI; I use it in my business too, but I am pro-integrity. Copying, especially without crediting the source, isn’t talent. It’s just taking.

And speaking of taking, can I be honest? When I finally sat with it, I realized something else: she was never truly my friend to begin with. Not her fault, really. The signs were there all along; I just didn’t notice them. But I always treated her like a homie. And when I’d reach for that same energy back? I’d get her Calendly link when I said I wanted to catch up sometime. A sales pitch when I asked for advice. 

I liked her. I liked her work. I just didn’t clock, until now, that it only ever went one way. Keep reading, though — I’ll tell you why that ends up being fine by me.

Blow two: the grade.

Less than a month before that, a former director of mine — someone I hadn’t spoken to or seen in 15 years — resurfaced. I’d posted that I was looking for beta testers for a new product, and she signed up for a screening call. I was glad about it, honestly. A familiar face from my old life, showing interest in what I’d built in this one. I couldn’t wait to share.

She was a no-show.

Instead of attending our call, she sent me a same-day message. Not a reschedule. A full breakdown of everything she thought was wrong with my website, my messaging, even my pictures — unsolicited, unrequested, uninvited. Her conclusion: I wasn’t ready. Her instruction: go apply her feedback, then reach back out to her once I’d ‘fixed’ it. (What the?)

Let that sit for a sec. I didn’t ask her to critique my business. I asked her to test a product — one she matched the target profile for perfectly, ironically, if only she’d shown up to find out. But she skipped the actual ask entirely and appointed herself judge of whether I’d earned the right to be tested at all.

I was shocked, to say the least. Because who asked her? We eventually cleared up the confusion, but her energy was still “do this thing first”, all in the name of ’protecting’ me — like access to my own beta test was hers to gatekeep. (Btw, fellow founders, this is exactly why screening/discovery calls are crucial. It’s imperative to find this stuff out early. Even someone who looks like the right fit could still bring the wrong vibe.)

So here’s the question worth actually sitting with: 

What makes a woman with her own life, her own goals, her own lane, stop and rewrite the rules of somebody else’s?

Neither of these women was hurting for options. One’s a successful founder in her own right. The other had already built a career most people would call solid. Neither needed my idea, or my invitation, to matter. And yet.

A theme I’ve noticed since starting a business: proximity messes with perspective. When someone close enough to relate to you is doing something you admire, or something close to what you’re already building, it’s easy to forget — their win doesn’t subtract from mine. Or mine from theirs.

But here’s the reason why I’m laying this out plainly, receipts and all, instead of just handing you a moral: silence is how this stuff stays normal. If I only ever give you the takeaway without ever naming what it actually looks like when it happens, you’ll spend your time wondering if you’re the problem when someone does this to you. You’re not. Seeing what it actually looks like — the specifics, not just the summary — is what lets you recognize it in real time instead of doubting yourself over it.

And for what it’s worth, nobody tries to rewrite, correct, or quietly duplicate a message that isn’t working. You don’t critique what you don’t envy. You don’t copy what isn’t worth copying.

The (Re)Confirmation

If this has happened to you — if you’ve scrolled past a carbon copy of your own idea with someone else’s name slapped on it, or someone massively tore your work to shreds — chin up. Imitation (or condescension dressed up as concern) is still the sincerest form of flattery — even when it feels sneaky, even when it hides behind ‘help,’ even when it’s just plain rude.

Both moments point to the same undercurrent: ambition without integrity. The taker copies because she wants the credit without sourcing the inspiration. But the grader does the opposite; she tears down to elevate herself. Different tactics, same root. That’s exactly what this platform exists to name. And I didn’t build it to stay quiet when I see it up close. So instead of a list of things this has taught me — or clapping back in the traditional sense — here’s what it reconfirmed:

1. My ideas rock.
2. My work inspires action.
3. These women might have poor manners, but they have great taste.
4. I’m grateful, actually. And I’m picking up what they’re putting down.

When you’re doing something that matters, opposition shows up

That’s the core lesson, folks. That’s the why. 

So if you’re facing something like this right now, “Be of good cheer.” Quoted from one of my favorite and most gangster verses in the Bible, if you understand it, John 16:33 (NKJV): “These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” 

In other words, fam, foul, tacky, nobody-asked-you silliness will happen throughout your life. But if we’re made in God’s image. And He’s overcome the world. Then the overcoming is already ours too. 

So be of good cheer — not because the hardship isn’t hard or frustrating or unwarranted. Be of good cheer because their reaction is proof your work matters. Proof that you’re onto something so good they can’t look away. 

And for the takers and the graders out there: you’re operating from a scarcity lie. The belief that someone else’s win diminishes yours, that there’s only so much room at the table, only so much visibility to go around. That’s the world’s economy, not God’s. In His Kingdom, provision multiplies. My abundance doesn’t compete with yours; it testifies to it. 

Stop reaching for what isn’t yours and start building what is.

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A note from Erin: Thank you for being here! If these ideas or perspectives resonate with you, I’d love for you to SUBSCRIBE or share them with someone you care about. If you’re looking to make a change or when the time feels right, I’m here to help. Check out my “WORK WITH ME” page to explore how we can work together—or swing by my “CONTACT” page to say hello, ask a question, or start a conversation.